


I'm Invented Too

by smartlike



Category: Popslash
Genre: Bodyswap, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2018-05-19 14:07:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5969815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartlike/pseuds/smartlike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay." Britney bit her lip. "So the thing is." She paused again. "This is Justin. I'm me. Justin. I guess. I mean," Britney squinted, stopping again.</p><p>Lance leaned forward in his chair and stared into Justin's blue eye. "What the hell is Britney babbling about now?" Justin's bottom lip shook, but he didn't answer.</p><p>Britney inhaled. "I think we, Britney and I, um. Well, we like, switched bodies."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Invented Too

**Author's Note:**

> For callmesandy. Thanks to k8 and Lise for the incredible short-notice betas and to throughadoor for the support group. Title via REM.
> 
> Originally posted at http://www.obsessivetendencies.net/pmp/sandy.html

Lance didn't look up from his newspaper when Justin and Britney entered the room. He heard Joey and Chris greet them and their responses. Heard the milk splash into the cereal and the scratch of knife against toast. He was just about to go back to the article on Enron when Chris nudged his leg.

Lance kicked idly at Chris's foot. "What?"

"Look," Chris hissed.

Lance sighed and lowered his paper, not sure what he was supposed to be looking at. He scanned the room. Joey was sitting on the couch dialing his cell phone. JC was sprawled on the bed, asleep again. Justin was eating toast and grapefruit and Britney was next to him hunched over a bowl of Oreo-Os. Lance turned to glare at Chris, but stopped and turned back to Justin.

He watched, eyes narrowed, as Justin carefully sectioned the grapefruit and then pressed the soft pink fruit to his lips. Lance looked over at Britney, watched her shovel in her cereal. It didn't even look like she was chewing. Lance stared.

"See?"

Britney looked up at the sound of Chris's voice. She swallowed a huge mouthful of cereal and sighed. She glanced at Justin, who shrugged delicately and bit into his toast.

"Brit," Lance started. "Isn't that Justin's breakfast?"

"Yeah, Curly, since when do you eat grapefruit?" Chris poked Justin in the shoulder and he rolled his eyes.

"Look." Britney stopped. "Actually, I only want to do this once, so can we wake up C? Joe, get off the phone."

"Sorry, Brit, but I'm talking to my kid here. I'm sure whatever you have to say can wa--"

"Please Joey? It's important." Justin's voice was a soft whine. His accent seemed thicker than usual.

"Joe. Come on." Britney pulled at the base of her messy ponytail.

Joey looked at Lance, questioning. Lance nodded.

"Yeah, Kel, I gotta go. I'll call again in a bit. ... I know, yeah-- ... It's important. ... Bye, bye Bri. Love you." Joey hung up and turned back to face the table. "Okay, Brit. What?"

Justin pointed at the bed. "JC?"

Chris stood and walked to the bed, pouncing on JC until he sat up enough to shove Chris to the floor. "Is it time to go?" JC rubbed his eyes.

"Nah, the teen dreams need a moment."

"Oh." JC looked at Justin. "What's up?"

Everyone in the room was looking at Justin and Britney. Lance watched as they darted their eyes at one another. Britney sighed again and cracked her knuckles. 

Justin cringed. "Don't do that."

Britney blinked. "Oh, yeah. Right. Um, sorry."

Chris, sitting Indian style on the bed next to JC, made a small noise of protest. "J, man. On with it."

"Okay." Britney bit her lip. "So the thing is." She paused again. "This is Justin. I'm me. Justin. I guess. I mean," Britney squinted, stopping again. 

Lance leaned forward in his chair and stared into Justin's blue eye. "What the hell is Britney babbling about now?" Justin's bottom lip shook, but he didn't answer.

Britney inhaled. "I think we, Britney and I, um. Well, we like, switched bodies." She stared directly at Lance, waiting for his reaction.

Everyone stared. Lance studied Britney's face and then Justin's. JC looked puzzled and Joey sighed heavily.

"I'm calling Briahna back." He grabbed his phone.

"Seriously guys." Britney flexed her hands and clenched them into fists. "We were watching tv last night and Brit fell asleep in my room. And when I woke up I fucking _was_ her." Britney's voice was strained and when she glanced at Lance, she looked scared.

Chris giggled. "I'm impressed guys. The breakfast thing and all. Well plotted, but really, who's gonna believe that? This isn't a Kirk Cameron movie."

Justin sniffed. "He's telling the truth. I don't--" He paused and wiped at his eyes. "I'm a boy."

Lance swallowed, noticing the way Britney's brow crinkled in worry as she looked at Justin. It was familiar, but not. 

"I don't want to be a boy. I can't. I was supposed to go," Justin was crying now, and he paused to gulp air. "Home in three days and I have a date! With someone who thinks I'm a gi--" 

Britney gathered Justin into her arms and whispered into his short curls as he cried on her shoulder.

Lance looked at Joey, who hadn't made his phone call after all and then at Chris and JC. "Um. Do you think?"

Joey stood and approached the table. "Justin's not that good of an actor, man." 

"Hey." Britney looked up, annoyed. "Is this really the time for insults?"

"Fuck me." Chris collapsed on the bed. "They're not lying, are they?" 

Lance watched the way Britney's hands stroked Justin's hair and shook his head. "I don't think so."

JC looked around, still sleepy. "Wait, what is going on?" 

"I don't know, but I'm gonna kick Kirk Cameron's fucking ass, man." 

"I think that was a Fred Savage movie." Joey had his hand on Justin's back and was rubbing as he cried. 

_She_ , Lance corrected himself. As _she_ cried. He scrubbed his hand through his hair and folded the newspaper, dropping it on the floor beside his chair. He reached for his Palm Pilot and his cell phone.

"No, man. The guy from _Growing Pains_. He switched bodies with his dad. I saw it." JC was pacing the room now, his arms flapping aimlessly.

Joey cocked his head at JC, who let his arms rest at his sides. "Yeah, right, with his dad, but it was definitely Savage."

"Joe, I know what I'm talking about. It was totally Ki--."

"Hello? Can you guys do this later?" Britney's voice was loud and Lance jumped. She glared at Chris in a way that was uniquely Justin. Because, Lance thought, she was Justin.

"Um. Yeah. Sorry." Chris sounded smaller than usual.

"Right." Joey inhaled. "So Justin is Britney and Britney is Justin?" 

Justin's crying got even louder and Lance looked over. Britney pulled Justin closer to her. 

Or. _Brit_ was crying and _Justin_ was hugging her. They were just doing it in the wrong bodies. Lance's head spun as he scrolled through his phone book.

"Looks like." Britney almost smiled. "I'm a girl."

"Dude." Chris was sitting up again. "You are. A hot girl, too."

"Justin Timberlake trapped in the body of his beard. How much would _The Enquirer_ pay for this? I bet they could get Wade to sell his story, too. "Ex says he always suspected Timberlake wanted to be a girl!" It'd like, three scandals in one." 

Joey shook his head. "Dude, not even they'd believe this shit."

Britney laughed, but then stopped short. "This is so fucked up. What do we do to fix it? How does this even happen?"

"Wait, guys." JC stopped pacing. "What the hell are we gonna do? We can't do shows and shit."

Everyone turned to look at Lance, talking into his cell. He ignored them. "Right, so cancel everything today. ... Well reschedule if you have to, but just cancel if we can get away with it." Lance listened, frowning. "I know, but just do it. I'll explain later."

Lance hung up and looked at Britney. "Okay. Now, lets get her to stop crying and see if we can figure this out."

**

Lance tipped his head back on the desk chair and exhaled. JC and Justin had finally gotten Britney to stop crying and she was napping on the loveseat. Once she'd fallen asleep, JC had taken Justin back to Britney's room to relax. Chris and Joey had been charged with attempting to figure out how this kind of thing happens, so they'd gone off to Lance's room to use his computer. Or something. They weren't back yet.

Lance had spent the last three hours on the phone with Johnny and the publicists and the promoters and Johnny again and several people he couldn't remember anymore. His head hurt. He wondered about aspirin, but didn't have the energy to stand up. Instead he looked over at Justin's body, curled tight, too big for the seat. He was secretly hoping that when his eyes fluttered open it would be Justin inside and everything would be back to normal. If he were really lucky, this was all a bad a dream. He sighed and was about to go in search of the aspirin when his cell phone rang again. Joey.

Lance pushed the button. "Where are you guys?"

There was static and he had to strain to hear Joey's voice. "We ran out to do some research."

"What kind of research?"

"What? Look, just wanted to let you know we'll be back in a few. Is everyone around?"

Lance stood up. "I'll get them. Later."

He hung up and called JC. 

"This is awful, Lance. Britney. Or, um. Justin? Is freaking out." JC was whispering.

"Justin. It's Justin and I think we need to be really careful about that. No need to contribute to the psychological damage. And I can't really blame him for freaking, you know?" Lance could imagine JC nodding. "Bring him back here, okay? Joe and Chris are on their way."

Lance hung up and approached the loveseat. "Jus-- Britney? Time to wake up." 

Lance pressed his hand against one broad shoulder and shook lightly. Blue eyes blinked and Lance's heart jumped. Then Justin's nose scrunched. Like Britney's. Lance bit his lip to keep from swearing.

"Lance." Britney's voice was scratchy with sleep. "I'm still?"

Lance nodded and gave him - her, he'd really meant what he said to JC - a hug before sitting up.

"Joey and Chris went off to try and find out anything they could. They'll be here in a minute, okay?"

Britney nodded and ran her hand through the curls on her head. She started and pulled her hand away quickly. Lance patted her thigh. 

"I'm really sorry, hon."

Britney sniffled a little, but didn't say anything. After a few minutes of silence the door opened and JC and Justin came in, followed by Chris and Joey. Britney sat up and tried to arrange her long legs into a comfortable position. Lance looked away and walked over to Chris.

"Please tell me you guys figured this out?"

Chris shook his head. "Dude. We visited like, three occult shops and--"

Lance interrupted, "there are three occult shops in Tacoma?"

"Surprising isn't it? But yeah, there are. One old woman told us that Joey was going to get married in two years and that I would someday discover a hidden musical talent. The second guy scared me, so we left."

Lance rolled his eyes.

"No, Lance, seriously. Guy was freaky, white hair, tattoo of an owl on his face." Chris gave an exaggerated shudder. "Anyway, the last place was more of a bookstore and the guy gave us a few old things about transformation and stuff."

Joey walked over and handed Lance a heavy black shopping bag. "Here ya go, man."

Lance took the bag and gestured to the smaller white one still in Joey's hand, "what's that?"

"Um." Joey looked at Chris.

"Did you know that both Fred Savage and Kirk Cameron made body-switching movies?"

Lance counted to ten in his head.

Justin stood and paced a small circle. When he stopped, he turned to Lance. "Give me those." He took the books and left the room. JC gave them a worried glance and followed. Britney still hadn't moved.

"Look, I talked to Johnny. No one else knows and I think we should keep it that way. It was a bitch to convince him, anyway." 

"I'll bet," Chris said and Joey hummed his agreement.

Lance continued, "no matter what, we've gotta be on the bus in an hour. So, Chris, go tell them and I'll make sure Justin's stuff is packed. Joey, you do Britney's. For now, the plan is, we're not canceling the show and Justin and Brit are to be with one of us at all times."

Joey frowned, but nodded. "Hey Brit? Sweetie, you wanna come show me what to pack?" Britney stood without saying anything and they left the room.

"Lance, man. It'll be okay."

Lance glared at Chris.

"Well." Chris paused. "At least we have movies for the bus?"

Lance continued to glare until Chris shrugged and left the room muttering about 'can't at least see the humor'. Lance rummaged in his suitcase, found his pills and swallowed three aspirin. Dry.

**

Since Britney was visiting she and Justin were riding with Lance and Joey had switched to the three-man bus. There was little point in having a girlfriend for show if you didn't travel together, since the fans and tabloids were always watching. Britney refused to pile on with JC and Chris, neither of whom were willing to trade. Joey offered to change back now, thinking Justin might want to be with Chris, Lance guessed, but Joey looked pretty relieved when Justin had turned him down.

They got on the bus for the long overnight trip and Britney said she was going to sleep right away. Lance waved goodnight and then called Johnny to let him know that there was nothing new to know except that they had made it onto the bus as scheduled. Lance listened to Johnny bitch for awhile, mostly tuning out his voice and watching Justin read on the sofa. His face was tight with concentration and Lance couldn't remember ever seeing Britney look that interested in anything.

Lance noticed that Johnny had stopped speaking and swore under his breath. "Right. You're definitely right, Johnny. I've gotta get some sleep. I'll call in the morning." Lance hung up before Johnny had a chance to respond. He rested his head in his hand for several minutes before looking up. Justin was still on the sofa, but he'd put the book down and was picking idly at his fingernails.

"I don't know how she deals with the plastic nails. They're fucking annoying."

Lance murmured something close to agreement. They sat in silence for a nearly a full minute. Normally Lance was fine with that, but now he felt the need to stretch or shout or pray. Anything to fill the empty air. He almost wished Chris were here. 

"They're acrylic thou--"

"Lance. What th--"

Lance stopped speaking and waved his hand, indicating that Justin should talk.

"What the hell is going on? I mean, I've been reading these books, but I don't think anyone cast a spell and it wasn't a full moon or anything. So, what?"

Lance bit his own nail. "J, I've got no idea. Tell me what happened?"

Justin licked his lips and Lance did the same. He knew Justin had already told JC and Chris, but Lance hadn't heard the story and it wasn't as though they had much else to do.

"We watched a movie. _The Cutting Edge_ was on cable."

"Toe pick," Lance trilled and was rewarded when some of the strain seemed to drop away from Justin's face.

"Exactly. So Brit fell asleep before it ended and I watched the rest. Afterwards I didn't feel like waking her up, so I just went to sleep. Give the new bodyguards something to speculate about. I mean, starting rumor is pretty much the whole point of the fake girlfriend thing, right?"

Lance frowned. "So nothing weird happened?"

"Other than waking up to piss and finding myself in a whole new body?" Justin scowled, but Lance nodded anyway. "No."

Lance stared at Justin's fingernails until he turned away and picked up the remote control. He turned on the tv and started flipping through the channels. Lance watched, grateful for the distraction. 

Leno laughed, then Letterman smirked and then P. Diddy passed by twice. When Justin had managed to pass by all hundred-plus channels without stopping, Lance sighed.

"Justin." Justin didn't turn his head. "Maybe you should get some sleep."

Lance stared at the window behind Justin's head. The road was empty and Lance thought maybe it was foggy outside. He figured it should be. The tv made the blackness shimmer. 

"Not tired," Justin finally muttered his voice thick.

Justin let the tv rest on a _Sports Night_ rerun. Lance turned his head to watch the guy that he always remembered as Benson give a speech. He thought it was probably very touching, but he couldn't hear anything other than Justin's uneven breathing.

Lance looked at Justin again and he could see the lines of exhaustion on his face.

"Come on, man." Justin snorted and Lance cringed. Note to self: choose words carefully. "Sorry. But really, you've gotta sleep. Long day tomorrow, no matter what."

The 'what' hung in the air and Justin looked out the window. Lance knew all Justin could see was Britney's face surrounded by black, like some velvet painting that sold for thirty-five dollars somewhere in Louisiana.

"I can't."

Lance blinked, confused. "Can't what?"

Justin looked back and there were tears on his cheek. "Sleep. JC tried to get me to take a nap, but I couldn't. Every time I started to fall asleep, I practically hyperventilated and woke myself up."

"But." Lance stood up and went to sit next to Justin on the couch. Justin scooted over to let him. "Why? You're exhausted."

"The last time I went to sleep, I woke up as someone else."

Lance studied Justin, trying to catch all the hints of him underneath the features of Britney's face. They were there and it made Lance's vision swim, but he needed them to ground himself. He had to concentrate to deal with this strange frightened not-Justin. 

"Okay. I get it. You're afraid. But J, maybe if you go to sleep you'll wake up you again."

Justin wiped at his eyes and cursed when he scratched himself. "Yeah, I know. That's the logical thought. But." Justin shrugged. "I can't."

"Here." Lance pulled Justin forward. "Wait." 

He settled himself into the space between Justin and the couch and then pulled Justin back up against his body. He stretched his legs out around Justin.

"Look, I'll stay with you, okay? Just try?" Lance felt like he was quoting someone's mother. Probably his own. But he was glad when Justin nodded, brittle hair scraping Lance's chin.

They stayed there, an old episode of _SNL_ on the tv. After awhile Lance felt Justin's breath start to steady, but only moments later he was shaking and panting, pulling at Lance's arms around his waist.

"Ssssh. Justin, it's okay. It's just me." Lance stroked the skin just above the sweatpants Justin was wearing. The skin was too smooth and Lance felt Justin shiver, but he seemed to be calming down.

Lance grabbed the remote and turned the volume up a little. They flipped to MTV and made fun of Sway as he interviewed some minor member of Jay-Z's crew. Justin even laughed out loud once.

Eventually Lance dozed off. When he woke up, the tv was on competitive skateboarding. Justin was still awake, but he hadn't moved out of Lance's embrace. Lance frowned and dropped a kiss on the head pressed against his chest before falling back into fitful dreams.

**

They arrived in Oakland early and normally they'd all have gone back to sleep for a few hours, but instead they gathered in Lance's room. Lance perched on his bed and gulped his coffee, wondered why everything serious always had to happen in his room.

Justin sat curled next to JC on the couch and Lance knew Justin hadn't slept at all. There were dark circles under his eyes. Britney had noticed them too and shot Justin a disapproving look. Now she was behind Lance, leaning against the pile of pillows on the bed. Chris was pacing and already on his second cup of coffee. Joey sat in a chair and divided his time between looking nervously from Justin to Britney and watching Chris pace.

"Fuck, Chris, will you sit down?" Justin slid closer to JC and patted the couch. "You're making me dizzy."

Chris sat and Lance finished his coffee. 

"Okay." Lance also wondered why he always had to start these types of conversations. Sometimes being the responsible one was just as trying as it sounded. But, everyone seemed relieved that he had spoken and Justin was almost smiling, so Lance continued.

"I think the first thing is to figure out tonight, with the assumption that no one's switching back before the show."

JC ran his hand through his hair. "Well. We have to cancel, right?"

Joey nodded in agreement and Lance bit his lip. He calculated the money they'd lose if they canceled and tried to find a hole in the tour to reschedule. His head started to hurt immediately.

Justin sighed. "Dude. I really don't think we should cancel. We'll disappoint the fans and lose all the money and. It's unprofessional. What'll we give as a reason? I don't know. It just--"

"J, you're right, but it's not like we have a choice. You can't do the show as Brit." JC's voice was soft and he pressed a hand to Justin's back.

Justin's hand flew up to his neck, searching for curls that weren't there. "Fuck." 

Britney coughed and Lance turned, surprised she was even awake. She hadn't done much other than sleep since yesterday morning. Lance figured she was thinking the exact opposite of Justin -- if she slept enough they'd switch back eventually. Lance thought it was worth a try, but she wasn't going to get anywhere with Justin's inability even to nap. Lance smiled at her wrinkled nose and watched as she raised her eyebrows at Justin.

Lance turned again to see Justin nod. 

"Okay, yeah. C's right. I can't do the show as Britney, so then Brit can do the show as me."

There was silence and Lance cocked his head. 

"Uh." Chris looked at Britney. "No offense, but. Do you really think she can do it?"

Lance slid backwards on the bed until he could see everyone without turning around. He looked at Britney's earnest expression and then at Justin's. Columns of numbers in the negative reversed themselves in his brain. He considered the idea. Maybe?

JC was shaking his head. "Just because she's seen the shows and heard the songs doesn't mean she can do it. Justin's irreplaceable."

"I thought we all agreed to stop feeding his ego?" 

Justin scowled and smacked Chris's chest. "Fuck off. And that's nice C, but come on. It's my body. I mean, you'll all have to help her rehearse. Probably all day." Joey groaned. "And it won't be perfect, but I think it can work. I mean, we're always going on about muscle memory. Isn't this what it's all about?"

"Right, we worked for hours on those moves just in case someone else somehow gained control of our bodies," Joey said. "I knew Wade was keeping secrets."

Everyone laughed and Lance started nodding. 

"I can call a few news people, put out a bit of a leak that Justin's feeling sick or something. Just to cushion any mistakes."

Justin smiled at him. It wasn't quite as bright as his usual smile, but it still made Lance's headache ease a bit.

"Right, see? It'll work. Brit?"

Britney shrugged. "I can learn the dances I think. Especially in your body. But, um." She paused and chewed her lower lip. "The songs?"

Justin looked at JC. "C'll coach you?"

JC narrowed his eyes and rubbed his thumb over his Leo pendant.

"We can turn on the backing tracks for his vocals." Chris was standing again, heading towards the coffeepot. "Just this once, emergency and all."

Joey leaned forward in his chair, hands splayed on his knees. "And I can cover a lot of it, no problem. It'll be fun to have some leads. See how the pretty boys live." He grinned at Justin, who flashed a quick smile before turning to look at Lance.

"Lance?"

"If she thinks she can do it, it seems like a good idea. It's a lot of money and a PR nightmare to cancel this late."

Justin nodded. "Look, we'll just try it. If it really doesn't work out, we'll cancel everything until this is fixed."

JC leaned back against the sofa and looked around the room at the hopeful faces. Lance could see that JC knew he was outnumbered. His lips quirked into a frown. "Okay, yes. But if it doesn't work--"

Justin stood up. "Right, no more shows." He bent down and pressed a quick kiss to JC's forehead. 

JC wiped at his brow. "Dude. Are you wearing lipstick?"

Justin blushed. "Fuck off. We need to get to the venue."

Lance chuckled and they made plans to meet at the elevators in twenty minutes. Everyone filed out of the room and Lance picked up his cell phone to call the promoters and let them know they needed some rehearsal space at the arena. Britney hovered in the door.

"Brit?" Lance frowned. "What's the matter?" She rolled her eyes and Lance nodded back. "But, what else?"

Britney crossed her arms and stared down at Lance. "I don't. I mean, do you really think I can do this?"

Lance took a step towards her. "You have to Brit." Britney looked down at the Nikes on her feet. "But, yeah, I think you can. Really." She smiled at him, eyes shining and he wrapped her in a hug, felt muscles straining beneath her shirt and remembered watching Justin dance.

**

They rehearsed with Britney all day and Justin had been right about the muscle memory. A lot of the dances came easier than expected. Justin worked with her until even JC was smiling. They reworked a few of the songs, giving Joey more vocals and figuring out which songs Britney didn't know. Lance arranged for monitors to display the lyrics near the footlights. 

Lance was still nervous, but the show went well, the fans screamed and clapped as usual and JC flashed him a thumbs up after "Up Against The Wall". Everything was so close to normal it was easy to forget what had happened. But then Lance caught a glimpse of Justin in the wings, wrapped in a tight pink dress and looking smaller than Britney ever had. He frowned and concentrated on making sure his feet hit the steps in the right order for the rest of the show.

Lance planned to talk to Justin on the bus, but when Lance got out of the shower he couldn't find him anywhere. Britney was eating a slice of pizza at the table and smiled when he approached.

"That went okay, huh?"

Lance nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah."

Britney chewed and Lance watched her, noticing the subtle differences in the grin on Justin's face when it was actually Britney's. He shivered and reached for a sweatshirt.

"Is Justin in there?" He pointed toward the front of the bus.

"He went right to his bunk. I hope he gets some sleep." She pushed her lips into a pout. "He needs it."

Lance nodded and headed to the bunks. Justin's curtain was closed. Lance stopped in front of it and listened to the breathing inside. 

"J?" There was no answer. "Justin. Come on. Are you okay?" Lance thought he heard sniffling, but that was all. He sighed. "Okay. Get some sleep, all right. I'll be here if you need anything." 

Lance climbed into his bunk and lay there listening to the soft sounds of Justin probably crying. He turned to face the wall when he heard Britney come in. She didn't get into her bunk and Lance opened his eyes wide and strained to hear.

"J?" Her voice was a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Can I?"

Lance heard the curtain slide back and Britney climb into the bunk. He bit his lip. He couldn't make out the quiet voices. Something caught in is throat when he tried to swallow. After awhile Britney and Justin stopped talking, but Lance couldn't seem to stop listening. Every time he decided to sleep, he'd hear soft noises, something other than people breathing. He'd sit still, trying to hear, but he never figured out just what it was. Then weak light was peeking in at the edges of the window screen and the bus was pulling up at another hotel.

**

Lance leaned against a catering table and watched as JC and Britney laughed together. To any outsider it was just Justin and JC fooling around during rehearsal. But Justin wasn't here. Instead, it was Britney laughing at JC's joke and Justin was back at the hotel reading the books Joey and Chris had found in Tacoma. Lance sipped his water and really hoped that Justin found something useful. This whole thing was too surreal for him.

"It's weird, huh?" 

Lance handed Joey the bottle he was reaching for and nodded.

"Thanks, man." Joey took a long swallow. "Like, how it's Justin but not? The things that are still Britney? Creeps me the fuck out."

Lance didn't say anything, just kept watching as JC and Britney went through the choreography for "Bye Bye Bye" one more time. They had moved on to "Celebrity" when Chris wandered over, cell phone to his ear.

"You're sure? … Yeah, yeah, but--" Chris rubbed his neck with his free hand. "No, I know. You're right. … Okay, twenty minutes." Chris hung up and Lance raised an eyebrow. "That was Justin. He found something in one of the books, wants to go to this psychic he looked up online. I'm gonna go with."

Lance nodded. "Okay. Just, you know, make sure you're back."

"Of course."

Joey wrinkled his forehead. "A psychic? Dude. That's just a bunch of superstitions."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but two days ago we thought body-switching was something that only happened to washed up sitcom stars." Chris smirked. "Later." 

Lance sighed.

"This just gets stranger every minute," Joey muttered.

Lance watched JC show Britney Justin's steps for "Girlfriend" and nodded, before going to take his place. He wondered what Justin had learned and crossed his fingers as he started dancing behind Britney.

**

Chris came into the Quiet Room and Lance started to speak, but Chris just waved his hand.

"I know, I know, but we got stuck in traffic and I'm here so just let it go."

Lance nodded, standing and heading for the Toy Room. He found Justin slumped on a couch in front of the tv. The Playstation was on, but he wasn't playing. 

"Hey."

Justin looked up. "I forgot I couldn't go in. Lonnie stopped me."

Lance swallowed air. "We have them well trained."

Justin tipped his head in agreement. Lance waited for him to speak and finally sat down next to him.

"How was the psychic?"

Justin smiled. "She smelled like my grandmother's attic. But she was sweet."

Lance played with the hem of his shirt. "Well, that's good." He looked up at Justin from under his lashes. "But, um. Did she know anything?"

Justin waved his hand around in the air. "One of the books said that this kind of thing happens for a reason. That something needs to be resolved and we'll switch back when that happens. She agreed." 

"Did she say what that thing is?"

"She read my palm. Well, Britney's palm. And I guess that told her nothing, which means it's about me and Brit's just along for the ride." 

Justin looked back at the Quiet Room door and then cracked his knuckles. Lance cringed at the popping sound.

"So anyway, she did some other stuff and ultimately told me that I have hidden emotions that I need to sort out, but that really it's not up to me. Like, the whole switch is being controlled by someone else's emotions?" Justin shook his head. "I think."

Lance sat up straight again. "Wait, what? I thought it was about something you needed to resolve?"

Justin leaned towards Lance, pressing their shoulders together. "Yeah, but not exactly. Like, it's about me, but I already know what I need to know." Lance raised an eyebrow and Justin shrugged. "Supposedly. But, I know a lot of things. I don't know which one is the right one. Or what to do with it when I figure it out."

Lance put his hand on Justin's thigh and rubbed lightly, the black fabric smooth under his hand. He searched for the right words, but everyone came tumbling out of the other room before he found anything. He glanced at his watch and Justin moved away. Lance stood, smiling apologetically. He gestured towards the door.

Justin just blinked. "I don't think I wanna watch."

Lance nodded and followed Britney out of the room. He looked back from the doorway and Justin hadn't moved.

**

The next morning they had breakfast in JC's room. They had driven right to San Jose after the show, although Joey had made noises about a strip club somewhere along the way. Lance wasn't sure if the other bus had stopped or not. When he found Joey slumped on the couch with his head in his hands, he figured they had. He grinned at Joey and made a point of clanking the juice pitcher against his glass. Joey groaned and gave Lance the finger when he looked up.

"Rough night?"

Joey told Lance one of his famous stories, something Lance could guarantee was less than half-true and JC laughed along as if he hadn't been right there with Joey the entire night. Lance was shaking his head, about to challenge the quoted size of some blonde's boobs when the door opened and Britney walked in. They all looked up, the same question in their eyes. But Britney shook her head tersely and so, it wasn't Britney at all. Justin, Lance thought and closed his eyes briefly.

Lance walked over to the table where Justin was pouring cereal and sat down next to him. "Did you sleep at all?"

Lance had slept with headphones on, not wanting to deal with whatever had kept him up listening the night before and he was feeling guilty.

Justin nodded. "A little. More. I feel better." 

Lance was relieved and squeezed Justin's shoulder once before leaving him to his breakfast. He moved to a chair by the window and skimmed the events on his Palm. 

"Fuck."

Joey and JC turned to look at him.

Justin lifted his head from his bowl. "What now?"

Lance checked to make sure he'd read correctly. "Britney's supposed to leave today. With all the rehearsing, I forgot."

"Fuck." 

JC's voice was soft, but Joey reached up to rub his temple. Lance wanted to do the same.

JC padded to the door and stuck his head out. "Dre, can you get Br--Justin? It's important."

JC sat down and everyone waited, the only sound the quiet slurping as Justin ate his breakfast. After a few minutes Britney came in, wearing just pajama pants and rubbing her eyes. Lance tried not to notice the erection tenting the orange plaid. Justin wasn't so polite.

"Jeez, Brit. You could'a taken care of that." He rolled his eyes and tipped the bowl to drink the milk.

Britney yawned, wrinkling her nose. "What?" Then she looked down and giggled. "Dude. I didn't even do anything. I was just asleep."

Joey chuckled. "That's all it takes."

JC nodded. "Sometimes, you know, a strong breeze."

"C, I think that's only you." Justin rubbed his stomach and looked down at his hands irritably.

Britney sat down at the table. "It's so weird. You guys can't hide anything can you?"

"Just think about, like," Justin paused. "Lou."

Britney looked like she'd eaten rotten fruit. "Okay then." 

Joey glared at Justin. "Some of us were already nauseated."

Lance laughed, but only for a second. His Palm Pilot was still in his lap. "The sex ed is fun, but we have an actual problem."

The room got quiet and Brit met his eyes. "I'm s'posed to go home today. And to Europe on Sunday morning."

Lance nodded. 

Justin sat back down next to Britney. "Well, obviously you can't leave. And I really don't want to go see your mom. I mean, not that--"

"Right, no. I know. It'll be too weird." Britney buried her hand in her hair and massaged her scalp. "Your hair is so fucking annoying, J. Like, I can't style it at all."

Justin started to speak, but Britney shook her head. "Okay, so you call my mom and tell her I can't make it home, some social engagement we have to attend. She'll offer to fly out. Tell her no, you're busy, but tell her we'll make arrangements to meet up in Italy."

Lance smiled at Britney. "Yeah, that'll work. For now at least."

Justin took a deep breath and took the phone Britney handed him. She helped him through the short conversation.

"She must be so confused." Britney frowned. She sounded worried.

Joey stood up. "Okay, since we're all settled, I've gotta call Kel. We're not rehearsing today, right?"

"No, man. I can't even take another day of rehearsal and a show." JC stretched, rolling his back and sighing afterwards to make the point.

"Cool. I'm going to go back to sleep for awhile then."

Joey left and Lance turned back to Britney. "Is there anything else you need to do?"

Britney ran her hand across her collarbone and Lance followed it with his eyes. 

Two weeks ago, in Orlando, they'd had a pool party. Indoor pool, but still. It had been fun. Lance had fallen asleep in one of the deck chairs and when he woke up, Justin had been perched on the next chair over. Lance had just stayed there, pretending to sleep, watching with half-closed eyes as Justin sat and stared at Lance. Lance remembered watching water drip from Justin's hair, along his neck and down over his chest. They'd sat like that until Chris threw a Nerf football at Justin's head and JC had tripped onto Lance's chair while running away from Joey.

He blinked and realized Britney was answering him.

"--call Fe and have her cancel my date for tonight." Britney pouted a moment. "He was cute too. Some actor on the WB, I think?" 

Lance nodded his sympathy, but Justin just stared at her. She stuck her tongue out at him. "It was all gonna be discreet. Your secret's always been safe with me.

Justin rolled his eyes and Britney continued her list. "Oh and I need to get a later flight on Sunday. Evening. Um, after the show, I guess."

Lance frowned. "Flight?"

Britney nodded slowly. "Europe? Movie? Premiere? Any of this ringing any bells?"

"But you can't leave."

"No, I'll go." Justin laced his fingers together and then glanced at Britney and pulled them apart again. "I mean, if I have to."

It hadn't really occurred to Lance that if Britney was being Justin then Justin would have to go be Britney. Which meant leaving them. He wanted to scream, but just said, "oh, right" instead.

Justin watched him for a minute and then stood up. "I'm gonna go shower. Brit, come find me in fifteen and we'll make those calls?"

Lance stared at his Palm until Justin left the room. JC came and stood next to him.

"We'll figure it out. Really."

If he was the responsible one, Lance worried, why was everyone always reassuring him? But he nodded and didn't look up.

**

An hour later Lance was showered and dressed. He'd called Johnny for the daily updates and now couldn't remember a word he'd said. Lance thought that he should start paying attention. There was always the possibility that Johnny would say something interesting that Lance didn't already know. He'd start tomorrow. 

He was skimming the headlines in _Variety_ when there was a knock on the door. Since they actually waited for him to answer, Lance knew it wasn't one of the guys.

"Hey." He opened the door and Britney smiled at him. "What's up?" He stood back to let her in.

"Lance. I need to go out. More importantly, I think you need to go out."

Lance stared.

"See? Even the thought has you confused. Come on, we're going to the mall."

"Brit, we can't go out."

Britney was already opening the closet and handing Lance his jacket. "Yes we can. Chris and Joey have the radio station covered and JC's taking Justin somewhere to do whatever those two do. I'm taking you shopping. Now."

Lance barely had time to grab his phone and his wallet as he was dragged out of the room and down the hall to the elevator, Lonnie just a few steps behind.

Britney had grabbed one of Justin's baseball caps and a pair of glasses and after an hour in the mall Lance actually started to relax. He browsed through a rack of sweaters at Banana and wrinkled his nose at the short boy near the mirror who had no business trying to wear plaid. 

"It should be a crime to let him buy that." Britney whispered in Lance's ear as she took a green sweater off the rack. "This one. And then we're going somewhere less stuffy. I want party clothes."

Lance smiled and paid for the sweater. He didn't think he'd ever wear it.

Back in the mall proper, Lance sipped at his coffee and watched as Britney ran her finger over the list of stores. "Where are we getting these party clothes?"

After a moment, she tapped the glass and raised her eyebrows. "Follow me, Lansten."

Britney lead him to a small store, full of black leather and shirts that were made with slightly more fabric than one of Justin's bandanas. She began pulling things off the rack.

"I'm not wearing any of this."

Britney paused long enough to shoot him a withering glance. "Of course you're not. It's for me. If I'm in this pretty boy body, I might as well have fun with it, right?"

Lance could only nod helplessly and follow Britney to the fitting room. He flopped into the metal chair just inside the door and checked his cell phone for missed calls. He didn't have any and they still had plenty of time before soundcheck. Behind her door, Britney sang along with the radio.

Lance listened to the song. Something about falling in love with drummers that seemed a little out of place in this store. It was nice though, and Britney sounded good. "So, um. You seem to be dealing with this better than I thought."

Lance finished his coffee and tossed the paper cup into a trashcan behind the low desk. He imagined Justin's follow-through swish and victory dance and smiled. 

"Yeah, well. There doesn't seem to be much I can do about it, right?" Britney's voice was slightly muffled as she changed her clothes. "So I figure I should just enjoy it. It's kind of a cool experience, actually. If you don't think about all the, you know. Bad parts."

Lance nodded.

"Like, I get to see what it feels like to be a guy. I mean, everything. Peeing standing up, which, while cool, is not the be all, end all y'all think it is. No one looks at my boobs when I'm talking to them, although some people do seem to check out other parts."

Lance felt his face heat up, remembered staring at Britney's chest that morning. Britney giggled and Lance got the impression he was exactly the 'some people' she'd been talking about.

"And the sex thing. That's the most fascinating. Like this morning. I could never really imagine what all this felt like. And now I can."

"So you're making the best of it?"

"Yeah. Making lemonade out of lemons and all that. I mean, why not? Justin said the whole thing's probably not about me anyway."

Lance started to speak, but stopped when the door opened. Britney stepped out and posed in front of the three-way mirror. Lance clenched his jaw to keep it from dropping.

Lance stared as Britney pulled something out of one of her shopping bags and leaned into the mirror. He hadn't quite realized what Britney's style, which Chris had dubbed "casual skank", would look like on Justin. He shifted in his seat and wondered if maybe he should buy some looser pants. No, he definitely hadn't anticipated this.

Britney had poured herself into what were possibly the tightest leather pants Lance had ever seen. They sparkled when she moved and when the light hit them just right Lance could see that they were dark, dark red. The sliver sleeveless shirt wasn't quite as tight, but Lance was pretty sure it was somehow metallic and yet nearly sheer.

Britney pulled back from the mirror and rubbed her finger under her eye. Lance watched as the eyeliner smudged, drawing dark clouds under blue eyes. 

Britney turned and smiled. "Well?"

Lance blinked. "Yeah."

Britney laughed. "Yeah? Is that a _nice outfit_ 'yeah' or a _damn, I want that_ 'yeah'?"

"Both." Lance swallowed and shifted again.

"Perfect." Britney gestured to the sales woman. "I'll take it. It'll be just right."

"Just right for what?" Lance's eyes followed the silver shirt as Britney pulled it over her head, pink lips, flushed cheeks, smoky eyes and a tangle of messy curls emerging afterwards.

"Didn't Justin tell you?"

Lance shook his head. He didn't remember Justin telling him anything. But then, looking at the sparkles the shirt left on smooth skin, Lance wasn't sure if he remembered his own name.

"We're going out tomorrow. Just in case he has to go to Europe."

Lance managed to nod as Britney started unbuttoning the pants, then she disappeared back into the dressing room. Lance ran his hand through his hair and placed the Banana bag in his lap. He really, really hoped things were fixed before tomorrow. Britney came back out in jeans and a t-shirt, eyes still dark with makeup and Lance added a few more 'really's as they headed to the cash register.

**

Lance decided to skip the bar that Chris and Britney were going to after the show and bailed on watching _The English Patient_ with JC, saying he was sleepy. He sat in his room staring at the empty email box in front of him. There was a knock on the door and before Lance could say 'come in', Justin was in the room. Lance smiled at him and he pouted back. It was odd to see Justin's pout on Britney's face. Different lips, same quiver. Lance stopped smiling.

"How's it going?"

Justin flopped down on the bed. "It sucks, Lance. Besides the _Twilight Zone_ factor, I'm bored. JC took me to some museum." Justin made a face. "I went to the gym, but I can't lift, really. It's all different in this body. I can't even play basketball 'cause it'll fuck up Brit's manicure."

Lance rolled his eyes. "You've fucking switched bodies and she's worried about her manicure? Typical."

Justin laughed softly. "Well, at least she's stopped crying. Actually, it almost seems as if she's enjoying this."

Lance didn't say anything, just watched Justin until he rolled over on the bed. His eyes met Lance's and Lance tried not to search them for something that might not be there. Lance closed his eyes and counted to ten before opening them. Justin looked tired.

"You wanna do something? We could get a movie. Or, maybe I could sneak us out." Lance closed his laptop and leaned forward in the desk chair.

"Let's fuck."

Lance sat back and looked at Justin. At Britney. No, _Justin_ , he reminded himself. "J. I don't think that's a go--."

"Come on Lance. I'm bored and I'm tired and I just want to not think for awhile. Please?"

Lance and Justin had fucked before. Several times, in fact. Once when Lance was nineteen and then twice right before Christmas last year. Lance considered it one of the perks of Justin's big Wade breakup. Possibly a bigger perk than the simple fact that Wade was no longer around. But Lance told Joey, which was always a mistake. JC had asked what it felt like to be a 'substitute for fucking Wade'. Lance had responded with what he hoped was an ice-cold glare. Chris had smacked the back of Justin's head and told him 'you're supposed to do the rebound thing with strangers'. Lance and Justin hadn't had sex again after that.

Still, it had been great sex, so it wasn't that Lance was against fucking Justin. He admitted he had maybe thought about it a few times in the last few months. But, sex with Britney? Lance wasn't sure that would work. On top of all the strange body-switching stuff, there was the gay thing. 

Lance blinked, wondered again what kind of life he was suddenly living where "strange body-switching" was an issue. He watched as Justin sat up on the bed.

"Justin, she's worried about her nails, but you don't think she'll mind if you have sex with her body?"

"I asked her. She said it was fine. Please?" Justin was standing and taking off the sweats and tank top he was wearing. 

He moved his hips and stripped off the clothing the same as always, but instead of Justin, it was Britney. Lance bit his lip, decided to gloss over the fact that Britney and Justin had discussed this. "J. I don't know. I think it'll be," Lance paused again. "Weird?"

Justin walked over and crouched in front of Lance. He licked his lips. Lance had never noticed that Britney had a tiny birthmark on her right shoulder. Lance inhaled and was about to protest one more time when Justin unzipped Lance's pants and slipped inside. Lance flinched as small hands wrapped around his cock and caressed lightly.

"The manicure," he whispered.

Justin laughed and urged Lance's hips up so they could remove Lance's pants. The fabric pooled around Lance's ankle and Justin leaned forward and took Lance into his mouth. Lance shivered and tried not to think about the circumstances. After a few moments it seemed to be working, but when he closed his fist around limp strands of silky hair instead of thick curls, Lance's eyes shot open. He looked down at Britney's body and grimaced.

"J."

Justin licked the underside of Lance's cock and Lance's breath caught. He pushed at the shoulders beneath his hand. "No, J. Stop."

Justin sat back on his heels and stared up at Lance. Brown eyes swam with irritation, confusion and lust. Lance stared at the smear of pink below perfect lips. He was wearing lipstick? Lance pictured the 'real' Justin in lipstick. With the eyeliner, too. His cock jumped. He wondered when he'd developed this makeup fixation. Lance shook his head. Not the point.

"Justin, I can't."

Justin was pouting again. "Laaaance."

Lance wasn't going to let him finish. "Seriously Justin. I'll do anything else, but I can't." Justin glared at him as he stood. 

"I'm sorry, man. But. It's too weird."

"You don't say. And here I am thinking it's completely fucking normal." Justin balled his hands into fists as he stood up gracefully. 

So much smaller than Justin's own hands, Lance thought. 

"I'm a fucking girl, asshole. I think I'm well aware of the weirdness of the situation, so you can stop fucking saying that."

"Justin. I'm not trying to be an ass. I just." Lance faltered, but couldn't come up with anything new. "I can't." 

Lance was pleading. He was feeling bad for not wanting to have sex with Justin, his friend and bandmate who Lance had fucked before, would like to fuck again, but wasn't actually dating and who was currently inhabiting the body of his own fake girlfriend. Lance closed his eyes and struggled to make that make some sort of sense. It wasn't possible and, frankly, he wasn't entirely sure that Justin really was aware of the weirdness of the situation.

"Fine, whatever." Justin pulled his t-shirt back over his head and Lance watched as breasts disappeared from sight. He shifted in his chair and Justin pulled up his pants. "This fucking sucks. I'm gonna go play video games or something."

"Justin. I'm sor--"

Justin looked back and his face softened. "Yeah, I know. I get it."

"You're Britney. I don't want to fuck Britney."

"We may be the only two men in America to have turned down a naked Britney Spears." Justin chuckled half-heartedly. "It's okay, really. I shouldn't have asked. Later."

Lance waited until the door clicked behind Justin and then stood up. He turned the radio on and hummed along even though he didn't know the song. He lay on the bed and thought about fucking Justin, thought about dark smudges under Justin's eyes and the taste of lipstick in his mouth until he came, wet and warm in his hand. He scratched his thigh with his other hand. This was really fucking weird.

**

When Lance got on the bus the next day, some time around noon, he found Joey and Britney -- the fact that he could tell right away they hadn't switched back worried him only a little -- sitting on the couch watching some tv show about teen basketball players.

"Lance," Joey was practically shouting. "Since when are you the last one on the bus?"

"Since Johnny decided that our day off would be a good day to go over a bunch of contracts with Coke." Lance looked around.

"He's not here." Lance looked at Britney, who curled her lips into a small smile. "He switched back." She winced. "Um. Busses. He switched busses."

Lance clenched and unclenched his fist. "Oh."

Joey tilted his head and then glanced at Britney, then at Lance again. "He said something about a new game Chris has?" It was a question.

Lance nodded. "Right. Chris. Yeah, they were gonna play that new Xbox game."

Joey smiled. "Yeah, that one."

Lance bit his lip. Hard. "I'm gonna go get some work done." He shrugged the shoulder that carried his laptop bag and headed for the back lounge. 

As he waited for his computer to boot up he replayed the previous night's conversation in his head. He couldn't really blame Justin for switching. Not that _that_ was the reason. New video game. Lance inhaled and rolled his shoulders. It had nothing to do with him. None of it. 

He tried to focus on the contracts in front of him, but by the time they arrived in San Diego he'd only read one page. He gathered his stuff and headed into the hotel. As he got off the elevator he heard someone shouting.

"You ass. What the hell did you do to them?"

Lance turned the corner and saw Britney staring at Justin's hands. Lance looked down. Justin had apparently gotten sick of Britney's precious manicure. The nails were mangled and discolored. Lance grimaced.

"Brit," JC's hand gripped her shoulder and steered her into her room. Justin and Chris followed. Lance ducked in just before Joey closed the door, shooting Dre an apologetic look on the way 

"It's just your nails. You can get them done again." Lance could tell Chris was trying not to laugh.

"My fucking manicurist is in treatment in New Mexico for the next month. I, or he or. Whoever. _My nails_ , have to go to Europe tomorrow." Britney glared at Justin who rolled his eyes.

"So I'll find someone else and get them done so they look nice and don't make me fucking insane. I couldn't even play a video game properly." Justin threw his hands up in frustration. "God Britney, it's really not that big a deal. Compared to the fact that I'm in. Your. Body."

Britney closed her eyes and inhaled. Lance watched her chest move under her t-shirt. He turned back to the door.

"You guys all need to calm the fuck down. Enjoy the day off." 

He let the door slam behind him and put the 'do not disturb' sign on his door before curling up on the bed. To his surprise, it actually worked. No one disturbed him at all until well after dinner time.

Lance opened the door and choked back a laugh. "He's gonna fucking kill you."

Britney ran her hand over her newly shaved head. "He wanted to let it grow out. Something he read on the internet." She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It'll grow back. Just like my nails."

Lance reached up to touch without even thinking about it. He had always loved the prickle under his hand and couldn't deny he was kind of glad Britney had chosen this particular method of revenge. He laughed and removed his hand, waving her into the room.

"So, what's up?" Lance settled cross-legged on the bed.

"We're going out tonight, remember? Sort of a 'goodbye Britney' thing. Except, you know. Justin. You need to get ready."

Lance thought about protesting, but knew it would be useless. Besides, he thought maybe a night out would help ease some of the tension that was developing between everyone. So he let Britney dress him in tight jeans and only drew the line at the mesh shirt she pulled out of somewhere. He put on a satiny blue-ish button down instead.

Britney went to get dressed while Lance wandered off in search of the others. He found Chris and JC sitting in Joey's room watching tv.

"Where's Joe?"

Chris pointed at the closed bathroom door without looking away from the screen.

"Have y'all seen Brit?"

JC looked up at that. "No. Why?" He looked tense already.

Lance shook his head. "She went and sh--"

But Justin walked in, interrupting Lance. "I can't fucking believe her. The two things are in no way equal. God damn it." 

Justin pounded the top of the dresser with his fist. He winced immediately and shook out his hand. Lance saw that he'd painted his short nails a sparkly purple to match his tank top.

Now Chris was looking up as well. "Wait, what'd she do?"

"She shaved my fucking head. Her head. No, _my_ head." Justin closed his eyes. "Anyway, she fucking knew I was growing that shit out. Bitch."

Chris was laughing and Lance could see the crinkles around JC's eyes. He smiled.

"J. Come on. It'll grow back, man. Like you said earlier, not the biggest problem."

Justin looked at him, his eyes traveling over Lance's body and he nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Harnessing my chi." Justin paused, took two deep breaths and smiled. "You look nice."

Lance tried to smile back, tried not to anticipate Britney walking through the door in makeup and leather. He couldn't so he turned away. "Thanks," he said as he fell onto the bed next to JC. He didn't look up to see Justin's reaction.

**

Lance pressed closer to the wall of the booth and sipped his gin and tonic. He finished it and signaled to the waitress for another, all without ever taking his eyes off Britney. 

She was dressed in the clothes she'd bought the day before, leather pants and silver shirt. The colored lights of the dance floor caught the sweat on her head and the glitter she'd spread over her neck. Lance imagined licking it away and stole a sip of Joey's abandoned beer. 

He was watching Britney dance with Jenna, one of the dancers from the Grammy's who was filming a video nearby. She seemed more than thrilled to accept the attentions of Justin Timberlake and Lance swore she pressed closer to Britney with every song. Lance watched as Britney twined her arms around Jenna's waist and he gratefully accepted his new glass. When he looked up again after tipping the waitress, Britney was lost in the mass of people on the floor. Lance scanned the room and saw Justin heading back to the booth. Lance finished his drink in one gulp.

"Lance!" Justin had been drinking too and his voice was like syrup. 

Lance attempted a smile as Justin curled around him on the leather seat.

"Hey there. Having fun?"

Justin looked up at him, eyes serious. "All the boys are hitting on me. They're kinda gross."

Lance looked down at Justin's cleavage and grinned. "I'm sorry. You should get Britney to beat them up for you."

Justin pouted. "Britney's dancing."

Lance looked back at the dance floor, but Justin tugged at his arm, so he turned back.

"Lance. You wouldn't fuck me." 

Lance closed his eyes. He really didn't want to have this conversation. 

"But I know you like me." Justin rested his head on Lance's shoulder. It was a nice weight.

"Justin. It's not you. I like you. I just. I'm _gay_. I don't want to have sex with a girl."

"But Lance." Justin waited until Lance angled his head to meet Justin's eyes. "It's still me. I'm still me and I like you and want you. For real and not just 'cause." Justin stopped mid-sentence and leaned up to place a wet kiss on Lance's jaw. "I know you like me, too. It's okay, Lance."

Lance struggled for the easiest way to explain the complicated situation in drunk logic. Without hurting Justin's feelings or saying something he'd regret. Lance's head was pounding again and he wondered why he wasn't drunk.

"Justin. I just--"

Joey walked up and sat down across from them. "What happened to my beer?" But he was already waving for another. He looked at Justin and smiled. "What's up, kiddo?"

Justin sat up. "Lance likes me, but he won't fix it. And he will not have sex with me."

Joey laughed and addressed Lance. "Why not?" 

Lance didn't bother to attempt an answer.

"Because," Justin looked around and leaned across the table. In a very loud stage whisper, he finished, "I'm a girl."

"Huh." Joey smiled at the waitress and handed her a few bills.

"So I want to have sex and no one will fuck me."

Lance resisted the urge to clamp his hand over Justin's mouth. The waitress looked at Justin and smirked before walking away.

"I'll fuck you." Joey chugged his beer and dropped the glass to the table with a satisfying 'thunk'.

Justin sat up, eyes wide. "Really?"

Joey started to shrug, then yelped when Lance kicked his shin. "Ow. Fuck, Lance."

Lance glared at him and Joey rolled his eyes.

"Fine," Joey stood up. He patted Justin's head. "Sorry, J. I can't fuck you after all. Someone's all territorial."

"I'm not being territori--" Lance gave up when it became clear that Joey's mind was already on the brunette in the corner.

Justin considered. "Well. It has to be Lance anyway. I think. That's what she meant."

Joey nodded, as if Justin were making sense and headed out across the dance floor. Lance slid low in his seat and told himself he didn't care who Britney was dancing with or what Justin's hand was doing on his thigh. After a few minutes of silence, Justin stood, huffing, and left.

Lance ordered another drink. And two shots. He was contemplating ordering two more when Britney threw herself on the opposite bench. 

"Aren't you going to dance?"

Lance stared at her eyes, smudged with makeup mixed with sweat. He took a shuddering breath and shook his head. When the waitress came to take Britney's order, he asked for three shots. Britney did the same.

"I can drink more, you know. As a guy."

"Really?"

"Lance, are you okay?" 

Lance nodded. He scratched his wrist. "Did Justin leave?"

"I think so." Britney narrowed her eyes. "Come on, Lance. I think maybe you should go too." 

Britney stood up and Lance followed, tossing a handful of cash onto the table for the waitress. He let Britney wave to JC and lead Lance out the door and to the waiting SUV. One of the bodyguards climbed into the front and Lance leaned against the seat, breathing the fresh air from the open window.

Britney's hand was cool against Lance's forehead and he sighed at the touch, but didn't open his eyes. The next thing he knew they were back at the hotel. Lance continued following Britney and found himself in her room. 

She handed him a glass of water and Lance drank it. He really wasn't that drunk. Just tired. He didn't know how anything was supposed to work anymore and that included his own reactions.

"Lance, baby. What's the matter?" 

Britney wrapped her hand around Lance's wrist and pulled him down next to her on the bed. He stared at the ceiling.

"Justin wanted to have sex. And I said no and now he's being weird. Weirder," Lance corrected. "I sorta think maybe he was weird before all--" Lance waved his hand inarticulately. "'Cause like, I was 'rebound guy' and--"

Britney mumbled something but Lance couldn't make it out.

Lance scratched his thigh. "Maybe I was weird though. So it just looked like he was. Or maybe I'm projecting 'cause now everything is so messed up."

"Yeah." Lance turned his head, watched Britney's lips form the word and then settle back into a pout. He licked his lips, pushed his weight forward and kissed her. 

There was a strange moment where Britney's mouth was half-open, half-closed and Lance couldn't decide whether to pull away or not. But then she opened her mouth - Justin's mouth, really, Lance remembered - and Lance slipped inside, tasting tequila and spearmint gum.

They kissed for a while like that, but it was an awkward position and they had to pull apart to rearrange, Lance on top of Britney and he pressed his lips to the hollow of her throat and then slid his tongue along the cord of muscle there. 

It tasted the same as Justin had, like Lance remembered, but spicier. A different soap, Lance guessed. Something Britney used.

He licked again, the salty-sweet skin rough under his tongue and he remembered eating roasted peanuts with Justin after the first show. The hard wood of the bar pressed against Lance's spine, drinking to avoid the silences between songs on the jukebox.

Before Britney had arrived. Before Justin had become Britney. 

Lance mouthed the scratchy material of the silver shirt and snaked his tongue across a nipple. He thought of long nights watching Justin during rehearsals, shirt tossed aside, doing steps he made up to old Michael Jackson songs.

And, if Justin had become Britney, then Britney had become Justin. And this was Britney underneath him. Whispering in Justin's voice, but not Justin.

Lance sat up suddenly and turned his head from side to side.

"Fuck."

Britney opened her eyes. "Lance?"

"I can't believe this." Lance climbed off Britney and sat on the edge of the bed.

"What?" Britney sat up, placed her hand on Lance's shoulder.

"I'm a moron. I wouldn't have sex with Justin because he was you. But he's not you, you are. But, prettier. A boy."

There was a pause. "Um. I know that this may seem redundant, given the circumstances, but that makes no fucking sense."

Lance squeezed his eyes shut tight and for who-knows-how-many-times that week, wished that none of this had ever happened. And it hadn't even happened to him. He really started to wonder what it must be like for Justin.

"This sucks."

"Well, yeah, Lance. But, you know. Make the best of it. I can have sex with a boy, as a boy. Bet no other girl can cross that off her _Cosmo_ quiz."

Lance cracked a smile. "Yeah, sorry to fuck that up for you. Ask Joey maybe?"

Britney looked curious, but Lance waved away the question. "Never mind."

"So Lance. Besides the obvious, what's the problem here?"

"I think." Lance paused and looked in the mirror over the dresser. His skin was pale and his eyes were bloodshot. "I think I have like. A crush. On Justin."

"Oh." Britney's breath was soft near Lance's ear. He stood up and faced her.

"But I thought it was just you in Justin's body. And the makeup and the clothes." Lance paused to look Britney up and down. "I don't know how your mom ever let you out of the house." 

Britney smiled, but didn't say anything. She looked around, confused. Lance couldn't really blame her. He was a little drunk and really dazed and probably babbling. But, he knew he was right. He had a crush. On Justin.

"Anyway. I felt bad and Justin was so pitiful and adorable in the bar and I just wanted to forget. You were here and willing. It seemed perfect." Lance pressed his fingernail between his lips, not quite biting. "But then, you're not Justin either. And I realized, I think, that that's what I want. Justin. Of course, I only figure this out when I can't have him. Not him in his body. Only you in the body I want and the person I want in the wrong body."

Britney reached forward and rubbed her thumb over Lance's wrist. Lance smiled but pulled away.

"Talk about irony, right? No wonder all the words for love are associated with pain. Crush, smitten, fall." Lance pulled at his fingers. "I have a crush on a person who doesn't quite exist right now." Britney opened her mouth, but Lance kept talking. "It fucking hurts. Which is, you know, a bad seventies power ballad. More pain. So yeah. I'm sorry."

Britney opened her mouth, but Lance was already at the door. He opened it, but paused when he heard Chris and Justin giggling outside.

Lance looked back at Britney. "I'll see you tomorrow. Soundcheck at four." He heard Chris's door shut, so Lance left the room. 

Lance smiled at the bodyguard in the hallway. He didn't smile back.

**

Lance skipped breakfast in Chris's room, just ordered orange juice and a bagel from room service. He thought he was probably being a coward or something, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His lungs felt twisted and it was hard to breathe.

He followed everyone onto the elevator without speaking, just nodding a general hello. Joey tickled JC and he giggled, twisting his body away and bumping Chris into Lance. 

They were a chain reaction or something, Lance thought as he knocked against Britney's side and watched her topple onto Justin. Except. He looked again. Searched Justin's eyes, then Britney's. 

Lance grinned and corrected himself for what he hoped would be the last time. He had knocked against _Justin_ who had toppled onto _Britney_. They were back in the right bodies.

"You fuckers. Was anyone going to tell me?"

Everyone laughed and Lance wondered how long they'd been holding that in.

"We wanted to see if you'd figure it out." Britney smiled and it looked right for the first time in days. Lance smiled back.

Justin cracked his knuckles and shot Britney a satisfied look. She sighed heavily.

Lance looked from one to other again. Justin with the shaved head, but really Justin. "This is great." 

Justin bit his lip. "I don't know. I was kind of looking forward to Italy. All the men." Justin waggled his eyebrows and Lance's smile faded. He caught Britney's sympathetic glance and stood up straighter.

Chris poked Justin in the side. "Well, go then. Clearly, if this week has proven anything, it's that Justin Timberlake is eminently replaceable."

JC sighed. "I hate being wrong."

Justin shrieked and lunged at both of them, but the elevator stopped and the doors opened, so they were able to escape. Lance watched as the three raced for the limo, Joey close behind.

Britney wrapped her arm around Lance's waist and he curved into the touch.

She smiled up at him. "It's gonna be okay, you know. Really."

Lance smiled. He was happy for her. And for Justin. He was.

"How're your nails?"

Britney shoved him away. "Ass!"

They climbed into the limo, narrowly avoiding a kick in the face and settled into the corner farthest away from the pile of moving limbs that vaguely resembled Lance's bandmates. He let Britney stroke his hair all the way to the venue as he tried really hard not to look at the spots where Justin's t-shirt had slipped up to reveal tan skin.

**

Lance was dripping with sweat and there was a permanent smile on his face. He watched as JC hopped on Joey's back and shouting 'I got the Bentley in pink, 'cause my dough nsync' as they entered the Toy Room. Chris had picked Justin up, but dropped him again after a few steps complaining that he was 'old, old and decrepit'. Justin had already started running before he agreed that 'yeah, man, you're like what? fifty, now?' Chris took off after him.

The show had been incredible, a high that Lance had almost forgotten in the stress of the last few days. No matter what jokes they might make, the truth was that Justin was an integral part of the group. They'd all missed performing with him and from the strip of white that seemed to have replaced Justin's mouth, Lance thought Justin had missed it, too.

Lance didn't get to talk to him about it, though. Justin changed quickly while everyone said goodbye to Britney.

"Call me, Lance. Let me know how it turns out. 'Cause it will you know. Fate and all that, right?"

Lance just nodded and hugged her tightly.

Then Britney and Justin ran to the limo that was taking her to the airport. Lance watched them go and then turned back to the guys.

"What are you losers laughing at now?"

Chris caught his breath. "I was just explaining exactly where we were when Britney popped back into her own body."

"Oh?" Lance stripped off his costume and looked at Chris. "Good story?"

JC giggled. "Dude. They were at the ba--"

Chris shoved JC into the back of the couch. "My story, man." Chris turned to face Lance. "So we're downstairs. At that little back bar? And Justin's still going on about how no one will fuck him and how you, Lance, have to because it's the only way or something. I don't know. The boy makes no sense when he's drunk, even in normal situations."

Joey nodded in agreement, getting his head caught in the shirt he was pulling on.

"Anyway. He's whining and I'm mostly ignoring him, drinking and making eyes at this girl at the other end of the bar."

"Wait," Lance buttoned his jeans and cocked his head. "This was this morning? You were in the bar this morning? I know you weren't out all night 'cause I heard you go to your room."

Chris stared at Lance. "No. Last night. At the bar. They switched before we came up. Like, twenty minutes before?" Chris arched his eyebrow. "Right, so this girl comes over--"

Chris was still talking but Lance had stopped listening, trying to do quick math in his head. If Justin and Britney had switched last night, last night before Chris and Justin got in, then. Then it was actually Chris and _Britney_ that Lance had heard in the hotel hallway. Which meant that Justin was already Justin when Lance left his room. And twenty minutes before then. When Lance had been babbling like a fool about crushes and Justin and pretty bodies.

Lance rubbed his forehead and squeezed his temples. He didn't even pretend to listen to the rest of Chris's story, just gathered his things and nodded to Joey.

"See you on the bus."

Joey frowned. Lance waited for him to say something, but he didn't, so Lance wandered into the Toy Room looking for a bodyguard. He got one of them to follow him to his bus. 

"Thanks," Lance called as he climbed the steps and nodded to the driver. He threw his stuff in his bunk and grabbed a towel. In the shower he jerked off quickly, not thinking of Justin or makeup or anything. 

He rubbed the towel briskly across his skin, grabbing the handrail when the bus started moving. He had decided, about twelve minutes before the show, that he needed to let this go. Nothing that involved weird body-switching could possibly make sense and so he couldn't possibly have a crush on Justin. It was a stress-induced episode.

And Lance had decided this before he knew that it was Justin he'd been talking to last night and not Britney. So it didn't matter if Justin knew or not. Lance tied the string on his pajama pants. It didn't mean he'd been rejected.

"Because there was nothing to reject. My mind just like, snapped under the pressure." 

Lance left the towel on the bathroom floor and went to the kitchen. He was leaning against the counter drinking Gatorade when he heard footsteps coming from the bunks. 

"Joey?"

Lance waited for Joey to emerge from the hallway and planned a few lines about being tired for quick escape. He started yawning before the footsteps even entered the room. When he saw Justin, Lance sucked in too much air and started coughing.

Lance finally caught his breath and downed a few short sips, then looked up. Justin was standing just inches away.

"Are you okay?"

Lance nodded. "Air, in the wrong pipe. Or. Whatever." Justin started to nod and Lance twisted away. "So anyway, I'm really tired. Good show." Lance headed towards the bunks, but Justin blocked his path.

"Lance. Don't."

Lance stared up at Justin and eased himself back towards the counter. "I just want to sleep, J."

Justin shook his head. "No way. I like my body, I want to stay in it and you're not fucking this up."

Lance rubbed his neck and didn't look at Justin's. He tried to meet Justin's eyes, but they were darker than the dim room and Lance had to look away. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember what I told you? What the psychic said?" 

Lance nodded. "Emotional resolutions out of your control."

"Right." Justin took a step closer. "So I figured it out."

"Obviously. You're," Lance waved his hand in the small space separating their bodies. "You."

"Right. I'm me. In my body. Not me in Britney's body or Britney in my body." Justin took a deep breath. His lips curved up as he exhaled. "I'm exactly what I'm supposed to be." Justin's voice fell to a whisper and he glanced down to his sneakers. When he looked up, he was smiling. "Exactly what you said you wanted."

Lance tensed. He tried to think of the best way to articulate the 'I didn't mean it, I was crazy' defense before Justin leaned any closer. But then it was too late and Lance could feel warm breath on his face. He forgot everything he'd been planning to say and figured maybe there was a reason people who plead insanity didn't usually win.

"So, Lance. Am I? Did you mean what you said last night?"

Lance tried not to nod, but he did and that just brought their faces closer. He shrugged. "Last night when I thought you were Britney." Lance pressed his back against the counter.

Justin turned his head away. "Well, yeah." He brought his hands together and started to crack his knuckles. He stopped when he saw the look on Lance's face. "Look, I should have said something. I shouldn't have let you go and I. I'm sorry. Really." Justin started to back away.

"What the hell," Lance said and reached forward to grab Justin's forearm. He pulled him close and kissed him. Justin's lips parted immediately. Lance breathed a quiet 'yes' into the kiss.

When they finally broke apart, Lance felt unsteady and leaned against Justin. Justin laughed and pulled Lance to the bench at the table.

"Sorry about last night. I was confused when we switched and then I figured it out and you were already leaving. And I figured maybe we could use the time."

Lance settled himself against the wall and felt Justin's legs wrap around Lance's waist.

"So wait." Lance paused and laced his fingers with Justin's. "I was the emotional resolution? I made you switch bodies with Brit?"

Justin grinned and then bent his head to nuzzle Lance's neck. "Something about not seeing what you wanted until you couldn't have it?"

Lance tried to nod and tilt his head back all at once. Not surprisingly, it didn't work, so he settled for mumbling 'oh, yeah' while allowing Justin better access to Lance's neck. 

"The psychic, she told me I already knew what I needed to know." 

Justin trailed a line of kisses up to Lance's earlobe. 

"And I did. I knew that I had a thing for you." 

Justin ran his tongue lightly across the ridges of Lance's ear and then the outer edge. 

Lance's voice was so low he wasn't sure Justin would even hear him. "You already knew?"

"Mmm-hmm. Since, like, January. But Chris had me all paranoid about the rebound thing. I knew, though. It just took me a little longer to realize that that was what the psychic was talking about. That apparently the cosmos or whoever decided you needed to be told. Which was nice of them and all, but really. I think there were simpler ways." 

Lance could feel Justin's lips form the words against his skin. Simple would have been nice.

"But I decided to talk to you at the bar. so I could have a drink to prepare myself. I forgot that Britney could never hold her liquor and then was too hammered to fix it." 

"So you were gonna give up?"

Justin moved back down and sucked just below Lance's jaw. 

"No, I was gonna sober up and try again. But, you were already figuring it out, without my help. So, thanks to Britney, I guess." 

Justin bit down, just a little and Lance hissed. Justin teased the marks with his tongue and Lance arched his back away from the wall. 

Lance ran his hand over Justin's head, his palm tingling. "I'll never make fun of the way she dresses again." He pulled Justin up.

"So that's the secret?" Justin asked, hovering over Lance's mouth. "You want to see me all tarted up?"

Lance nodded. "With eyeliner, too." 

Justin laughed and kissed him. "Whatever it takes," he said.

Lance thought that yeah, maybe Kirk Cameron and Fred Savage knew exactly what they were talking about. Then he couldn't really think about anything other than Justin and Justin's hands and Justin's lips, which was fine with Lance since they were all connected to just the right person.


End file.
